there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
