Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
