Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we made out on top of his cat.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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