You made me cry and you don't even care
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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