that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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