this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
COCAINE IS GR8
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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