sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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