im about as happy as oj after his trial
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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