Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
