sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You ruined the universe
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
