Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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