Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
