I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize