did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
