idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
