Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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