I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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