Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So much Jack, so little girl.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
