I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
