So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
