i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
