Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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