Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
