i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
