So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
