2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
