Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Are we still banned from the library?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
