I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
