he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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