Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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