I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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