oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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