Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
