Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize