My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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