Need sex. Gaining weight.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You were trust falling into bushes
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
