How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
