I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
