It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
