??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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