just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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