hell yes lets make some ravioli
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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