maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
what is it with giant penises always finding me
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
