I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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