I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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