all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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