She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
