who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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