I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize