she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
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Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
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no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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