She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
