My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
