Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
