all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
