just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
