I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
