I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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