Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
